by Nick Sleet » Tue Oct 21, 2014 12:30 am
Red Raver waking Jan up from his table hidey hole in the morning by drumming loudly and shouting.
Reginald Fothering dropping by with his manservant Pickwick from the jungles of the Congo:
Jackal walks up, does a double take, and turns to me and Alanna. "PLEASE tell me his name isn't Reginald." Reggie turns, doffs his pith helmet, and says "Why yes dear chap, how did you guess?"
Jackal and Alanna lose it and then spend the entire remainder of Reginald's visit desperately trying not to laugh hysterically, not helped at all by the fact that every time they looked like they were going to get themselves under control I would turn around and say something like "Pip Pip, cheerio!" with an evil grin on my face.
Conversation in the diner with people whose names have been redacted to protect the innocent. Also the guilty. Especially the guilty. Edited for clarity.
"So then the French Canadians attacked..."-- "Wait, what?"-- "French Canadians: you know what I mean." -- "No I don't, is that code?" Someone else chimes in "So what if they are ACTUALLY from Canada? Would they still be French Canadians?" -- "Well, yes." -- "And what if they don't work for the guy?" -- "Then they're Canucks" -- "OK, I've had it: In the interest of showing the same clarity that your code system provides, I've decided that information will now be referred to as handjobs! As in, gather everyone so we can give them that handjob we just got." -- "You can't say that in here! There are kids over there!" -- "Well, as long as they don't go and tell their parents that they got the handjobs from us, I think we'll be fine."
Nick Sleet - Private Investigator, Diogenes Club
"Curiosity may have killed the cat, but it's going to have to try harder to do me in..."