Whisper Hill Town Ordinances

[Brett]

Many of us were thinking of the various town ordinances, and came up with many, many things we are no longer allowed to do. many of these were born far past any reasonable bedtime and are terrible ideas. Therefore it is open season for people to add


1. Despite all of the various write-in votes, the Butcher is NOT an acceptable candidate for mayor of town.

2. It is considered poor taste to end every complaint a Cyborg has with “There’s an App for that!”

3. Dressing up new townsfolk of Whisper Hill as sasquatches and walking them in front of the Walker Family Cabin is NOT an acceptable method to initiate new people and is in fact considered “Hazing.”

4. The Interfaith Alliance will no longer accept members based on what the “Voices in their heads” told them to do.

5. Furthermore, said voices are not acceptable references for licensure.

6. You will not hack the cyborgs of town so they constantly make the DSL noise when rebooting.

7. Despite the outward temperature or lack of firewood, you are NOT allowed to use any resident Fetch as “Emergency Firewood”*
* Even if they complained about the cold

8. The local psychic populations are not here to help you with lottery tickets, the weather, or helping you find your keys.*
*It's under your bed, by the socks you forgot to was last week STOP ASKING

9. Local Rappacinnians are not allowed to lick the tray of bacon to claim is as their own.

10. Even if it is to help protect them, you are NOT to place tinfoil hats on Changelings without their express permission.

11. Craigslist ads for a “slightly used” nuclear reactor are to be taken down immediately.

12. You are not allowed to tape up the mouths of the various reptilian spirit walkers for “relocation.” It is considered both rude, and kidnapping.

Now... you try!

[Sally]

13. The five-bladed adjustable Pizza slicer that sits behinds Flo's stool IS NEVER TO COME OUT AGAIN, BY GOD.

[sndwurks]

14. Rat Poison is not "Rappacinnian Helper" and should not be stored next to the food in the AAA Diner.

15. Generation 1 Cyborgs do not qualify for the "Cash for Clunkers" incentive.

16. Holding your arms crossed over your chest does not, in fact, render you invisible to Degenerates.

17. Wrapping an unconscious Damaged in duct tape will not "fix" them, and will only serve to make them angry* when they wake up.
* Editor's note: This should be "angrier".

18. Skinwalkers are not Pokemon, and you are not allowed to try to "catch 'em all".

[cristovau]

Based on a true conversation...

19. You may use references to the movie Highlander to explain Strain 117, but you must never reference Highlander 2. NEVER! (I may have broken my own ordinance...)

[Tempest]

why yes you can use your voices as a reference because it was done and worked. just tossing that out to you all

[Henry Gondorf]

20: The school of measurement known as "From 1 to 10" shall no longer be used in Whisper Hills when discussing possible plans of action. The new adopted form will now be "From 1 to Invading Russia in Winter, how bad is your idea?"

21: When engaged in a civil discussion with a R.O.U.I. (Rodent Of Unusual Intelligence- thank you Gil for that) refrain from bring up Micky, Minnie, Jerry, Speedy Gonzales, Mighty Mouse, etc etc

22: Be Kind and respect the fact that everyone has limits. Even ungodly, loathsome mountains of eldritch brutality that even Aztecs might give a wide birth to.

[Nick Sleet]

23. While it is acceptable to narrate the activities of Skinwalkers National Geographic Style, you must allow your audience to stop laughing before proceeding on to the next fact about the "beautiful cycle of nature."