This is my Kingdom Come

[PoeticJustice]

Alice waits for confirmation that that no one else is in the immediate area before she leaned against a tree, exhaling. She closed her eyes for a second, quirking her head as if listening to some sound in the quiet. And she centered herself.

Find your center.

"Whisper Hill is spiritually out of balance. I do not the full details beyond the fact that it is true. It is not my story to tell, and I would leave that story to those who would tell it better. What I do know is that Amarok is a spirit of strength. He is son to the Winter Wind, I believe, or some similar spirit of the North and Cold. He is the frost that comes early and kills the children too weak to survive the Winter. In the stories he will tear the bones of those who seek him out, and thus claim he removes their weakness."

"When we first encountered Amarok in this place of Whispers, he killed some of us in the Dark. You can imagine why, fighting him is... difficult. He is a spirit of strength through arms. Fighting him is a way to earn his respect, certainly, but it could also get you killed. And if he smells weakness on you, he will try to kill you. Many of us are irradiated, which is a weakness he commonly sniffs for. I have also seen him seek out those who are lame, or those who are hunted by something greater. I have heard of him looking for the townsfolk of this place. He will seek to cull weakness."

"The Shamans made a deal with him. I do not know the specifics of the deal, but I know that he will not attack us in the AAA. He gave us a task. Slay the wolves who were sick and weak within the woods and collect their ears. One could present him with sufficient ears, he would mark them as favored. One of the Hackers won this contest, but did not wish to be favored by him. This was brought to my attention by others and that if we had a champion who could stand with Amarok, perhaps we could speak with him and gain information. I believe others thought I would... be a good fit," she smirked but it quickly faded. "But perhaps why they thought that is the exact reason I wouldn't. Anyways..." she shook her head as if trying to clear it.

"My motives were not... altruistic at the time, but motives matter little here it seems. I won the contest, and the hacker conceded. I was named Favored and Beta Wolf. I spoke with Amarok and learned things. I learned more from what he could not say than what he could, but the world turned and I enjoyed the work he gave me. I wore his fetish and utilized his power."

"He spoke of the Power Plant and the Great Enemy beneath that would rise and consume any and all who bore its mark, as in were irradiated. Each of us who were consumed would only make it stronger, so we had to fix it. I tried to convey this to the town. Most would not listen, those that did could not help. It was not until very recently that we discovered this is probably a spiritual affliction, not one of modern medicine. And thus we had struggled with it. But Amarok said we did not have time."

"So he hunted, as was his way. And he hunted us. And sometimes I could intercede to hold the wolves at bay and sometimes I could not. I could not be everywhere, but I could fight them and they would run. I tried to save those of us, especially the Strain amongst us, who he targeted. It was a difficult line to walk. I spoke with him at length about things in the dark."

"When I heard that Amarok had killed Bob Grey, ensured that he would fall to Darkness..." she looked down and her brow furrowed. "I felt... guilt. I realized I had failed. And when I spoke with Azeban --" she stopped herself and looked up sharply to Red Raver. "--Azeban is the Raccoon spirit. He is a trickster--" before looking down again. "-- I realized that Azeban was right. He spoke to me of how his brother was right, in many ways. We are sick. We are weak. We are dangerous. And if those who fell in this place stayed dead, perhaps his way could be right..." she struggled for words for a moment.

"But even then... Bob Grey was not weak. Bob Grey was amongst the strongest of us. I saw him tear apart enemies the rest of us were too slow to react to, and the amount of raw firepower he could output was obscene. But... He fought better with a pack. And for this, Amarok condemned him and tore his throat out..." her hands spasmed into fists and her voice descended into a snarl as the air around her grew uncomfortable and tight.

Find your center.

She forced herself to relax, visibly taking a moment of effort to do it. "Bob Grey was not weak, and while we are sick we are not as sick as he thinks we are. So the Trickster said. And I know one cannot trust a Trickster but he pointed out to me that Amarok's way had not been working. Quite the opposite, he was tearing us apart, both socially and physically. He fractured us. He weakened our resolve and spirit and threatened to send us to the very threat we fight. And... it is not just the weak he sends. Bob Grey could kill most of us in a straight fight if there was more than a few feet between them. But he fights better with a pack, so he was sent to the enemy and we had to fight him."

"I did the math. Amarok had sent more of us to Kennigan than any other threat I could think of. Especially..." she faltered and guilt and shame caused her brow to furrow as she could look at none of them. "... Especially if you count those who died when madness overcame me and my psychic scream left many who had previously been stable bleeding out on the ground... Even the Penance. Even the Cultists... Together, Amarok and I eclipsed them all." Her thumb ran over the tally mark tattoos over her wrist.

"Azeban told me that with he could get a foothold over his brother with the Fetish given to me by Amarok. And I thought. I thought about why I had sought out Amarok's favor in the first place. I empathize with the wolf, but not because I wish to be the strongest. I wish to..." she exhaled, shaking her head and not finishing the sentence.

"The strength of the wolf is the strength of the pack. If I truly believed one of us was rabid, would I fight them? Yes. And I have. I put down two who were possessed by the Insects and would expect this town to do the exact same to me if I was in a similar state. We have put down two possessed by the Darkness as a town. And we know that the world hinges on this place, and each of us who cross over are more friends we have to put down like rabid dogs. And I am tired of that..." she snarled again, her hand wrapping around the woven bracelet on her wrist.

"So I gave the Fetish to the chosen of Azeban. Because while I did not know if Azeban was right, in that moment I knew Amarok was wrong. It was not his... fault. As Sally would say, and perhaps be truer than he ever has been with this statement, Amarok is what he is. He is a Spirit. He is the Cruel Biting Wind and Darwinism personified. He cannot be anything else. But he is too quick to pull the trigger because it is the only answer he has in a world with no good questions. So he will keep biting the snake and not realize that every time he does he introduces more toxins into this place."

"And now I will fight, because I owe this town more than my life and I have destroyed people in the attempt to save it. And now I have promises to keep. I know I won't see it the end, but maybe I can make sure the people who deserve it get their shot to save the world. And, if I can be naively hopeful for a moment, maybe even walk away from that shot. I promised an old friend that I would curb stomp the shit out of this motherfucking Darkness thing, or at least go out trying... And like hell if I'm going to do something to jeopardize that mission." A zeal rarely scene rises in Alice as she speaks. Her words are a mixture of snarling and grim determination. Anyone who had seen her fight saw the raw willpower she summoned, and it showed in that moment.