Occams Razor

A piece of blue legal paper is posted on the Board - on it is a sprawling scrawl:

A number of us Authors have been speaking about how to rewrite and resolve the Mo story

We’ve come to the conclusion that we need to change the past so they are balanced and in partnership and can lean on each other
So Jasper is not the Savior and Mo is not the one who needs rescue
Previously when Mo was scared and upset she’d run to him and ask him to read to her: we need to change this script so he goes to her for comfort and support as well. This will make it so in the future he doesn’t feel so desperate to save them - he's her friend not her Daddy

We adjust the details of the story (the bones) as little as possible – or it becomes a different story and we aren’t fixing the original!
So in their past Mo & Jasper equally support each other – becoming partners
Their lives still unfold; they still want to leave their town
Jasper still writes a book that flops – but Mo is there to help him with his disappointment because she doesn’t take for granted that he’s the Strong One
Mo still gets a role, still meets a boy, still goes to a party, and still has a car accident
She still goes to Jasper, but this time, as partners, they go back and deal with the accident and support the repercussions
She’s found not culpable as she *wasn’t driving*, but she no longer wants to stay in the town with her memories
Jasper says they need money to go. He has an idea for a book but he’s struggling with inspiration and needs Mo’s help. Being that they’ve leaned on each other in the past she agree but she is unaware of what is going to happen
Jasper still hires someone to hurt her so he can watch (he’s got a core of jealousy that she loved another and needs this because he’s kind of a d*ck)
Mo shows up at the mill and Torturing Torturer comes out
She says she didn’t agree to this – she doesn’t Deserve This. She feels betrayed by Jasper
She backs away. The Bad Man attacks (because also, clearly, he’s a d*ck). She uses a handy bit of rebar and kills him
She then tells Jasper he made this mess, he needs to clean it up. He has to take responsibility – to follow her example. And then she walks away
(as she walks away her spirit fades)

We're proposing this storyline as Mo tasked us to change the story and make her stronger. We don't want her to be Buffy; we just want her to be able to say No, to own her Power

We’d like everyone who is an Author to rubberstamp this. If you want to add details let me know. Once everyone has weighed in I will write this up as a story, rather than an outline, and then we can give it to Jasper. As time is limited I’m setting a hard deadline for responses for this upcoming Thursday. If I don’t hear from you by then I’ll assume you agree and move forward.
Those of us who have talked think that we need to be in accord on this – we can’t deviate once this is written. So, if you want some change to the story please speak up before Thursday

- Liberty

Tacked up below Liberty's post is a small yellow Post It. Written on it in a scrawl that would make a pharmacist jealous is a simple message:

"Love good ghost stories. Best seller when done. What did the editor say can't change?
-Billy"

In blue - at the bottom of Billy's note:
Liberty no understand
What did the editor say can't change?
Expand?

Eden's scrawl is tacked up on white notepaper:

According to the parameters of the assignment, I believe that we have to keep the bones of the story - i.e. the major plot points, at least until the end scene.

What we are allowed to change is the reaction of the characters and how they handle the various obstacles and incidents. This will cause them to develop within the parameters of the original story, but they will develop differently in our version. Of course, this will change the ending, but that is the whole point of this exercise.

I'm on board with Liberty's suggested changes.

--EJ

:: the blue legal paper has been removed, a document stuck under it, then the legal paper has been replaced and the whole wad is pinned up to the board

Written at the bottom of the original note in a heavier hand is::

I spewed this out. I think it works. If anyone wants to read.

It's third person subjective POV and ended up with Jasper as the focal character, which wasn't exactly planned for. It just came out that way. I think its how it wanted to be told, so we have some sympathy for Jasper.

If you want to not be caught flat-footed the next time we see Jasper and Mo, and potentially deal with this thing, you may want to read it in advance.

As we had a deadline, I've already made sure it got to Jasper.

- Liberty

((gar - literally no format will allow attach: pdf, txt, odt, rtf, docx - should anyone want to read in advance I can send via email :p Ping me))

*A Poster made of Stock Images with Bright Colors in the background appears on the Board*

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